Make Your Own Sunshine

I keep a gratitude journal. I have done this off and on over the years. I like intentional things, seeing change and transformation in small incremental ways. And journaling is one way I get to see change as it is happening. But in 2020, my gratitude journal became one of my lifelines as my mental health was spiraling. I would take out my bullet journal and doodle a great big sun and write in the beams of the sun the things for which I was grateful. I titled it “Make your own sunshine.”

In 2020-2021, I had a lot to be thankful for. Both of my children got married within that year, but with everything shut down and the “rules” governing life, the joy of those events got sucked out of me. Life felt so confining and joyless. It seemed like freedom was gone and all there was left was change (for the worse) and sadness. But when I took the time to pull out my journal, I could see a little bit of sunshine, even on those cloudy days.

For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. Hebrews 13:14-16

My thankfulness during COVID was truly a sacrifice of praise. Some days it felt hard to find joy, but the practice has gotten easier over the years. I can find the good even in the bad. This morning, I cut my finger as I was chopping vegetables. Old me would have been angry with myself for being so clumsy or for being in such a rush. But I, instead, chose to be grateful that I didn’t cut myself very deeply and that it only bled lightly.

I decided to bring this practice into my husband’s world this month. As most people, he is not a huge fan of change, but sometimes he humors me with my wacky projects. I got a posterboard and made a huge calendar for November and December for us to write something we are grateful for each day. Like I said earlier, I like intentional things. In just a few weeks of stopping every day to slow down and be grateful for something each day, I see leaps and bounds of transformation happening. Transformation that I did basically nothing to see. I made a calendar and God did the work. But I get to write on my gratitude calendar this month “see God transform the life of someone I love.”