Common Ground
Common Ground
Angela, who attends GAC, and Dawn were good friends; they had known each other since kindergarten. Like most friendships, they had times where they were really, really close, and they had times where they were just less close. They described it as being like family during the “on” years.
But during the “off” years is where this story begins.
Dawn decided that she needed a break from her friendship with Angela. For Dawn, the break was “for good.” She was done. The issues between them were too great. The repetitive cycle their friendship had fallen into was just too much for Dawn’s life.
Angela, on the other hand, missed their friendship. She continued to reach out cordially on occasion (without being a pest) to Dawn.
Angela and Dawn separated for 8 years, although Angela never gave up hope of reconciling. There was hurt on both sides of the relationship because of the way the friendship ended. The uncommunicated hurt and the personal difficulties in each of their lives added to the strain.
See, that’s a common theme in strained relationships. Communication difficulties and misunderstandings. Dawn, since she thought of Angela and her family as being part of her own family, was horribly disappointed when she felt like they weren’t there for her when she needed them. Angela was stuck in a relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend and was unaware of Dawn’s needs. So, the uncommunicated difficulties in both of their lives resulted in a broken friendship and a disconnection with the person they needed the most to be there for them in their struggles.
Eight years is a long time, but God is longsuffering with us; as our example, we should practice longsuffering with our brothers and sisters in Christ. When Angela’s grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer, she decided it was time to reach out. Angela contacted a mutual friend and asked her to tell Dawn about her grandma.
Dawn was cautious; she didn’t want to give Angela false hope of reconciliation. Dawn was really walking through some stuff. She had some traumatic things going on, and she was fearful about bringing evil into Angela’s world.
But they found “a common ground in the Lord” when they spoke. Angela and Dawn found honesty and mutual understanding about the status of their relationship as a starting point. Angela was cautious about advancing their friendship and asked if she could check in occasionally so she wouldn’t smother Dawn. They met again. They found accountability in one another over time, encouraging each other to read their Bible. Now they are both in places of personal and spiritual growth that they can share with one another.
Their advice? Take it one day at a time. Don’t give up. Pray. Have patience.
The part of the story that I love follows almost exactly the steps laid out in the conflict conference for peacemaking.
1. Glorify God.
Both Dawn and Angela came to know Jesus as their Savior.
2. Get the log out of your eye.
Both ladies were honest about their situation with one another, and they came to a place of understanding.
3. Gently restore.
Angela patiently waited until Dawn was ready, and they took it slowly and gently.
4. Go and be reconciled.
Finally, they have now been reconciled, and they meet frequently.
As Dawn pointed out to me, isn’t this the way Jesus treats us? We are unworthy of a relationship with Him, but He draws us back to Himself anyway. We chose to cut off the relationship with Him, but He prays for us as our Mediator, and He desires to have a relationship with us. In His patience and longsuffering with us, in time, we come to repentance and are reconciled to Himself.
Angela, who attends GAC, and Dawn were good friends; they had known each other since kindergarten. Like most friendships, they had times where they were really, really close, and they had times where they were just less close. They described it as being like family during the “on” years.
But during the “off” years is where this story begins.
Dawn decided that she needed a break from her friendship with Angela. For Dawn, the break was “for good.” She was done. The issues between them were too great. The repetitive cycle their friendship had fallen into was just too much for Dawn’s life.
Angela, on the other hand, missed their friendship. She continued to reach out cordially on occasion (without being a pest) to Dawn.
Angela and Dawn separated for 8 years, although Angela never gave up hope of reconciling. There was hurt on both sides of the relationship because of the way the friendship ended. The uncommunicated hurt and the personal difficulties in each of their lives added to the strain.
See, that’s a common theme in strained relationships. Communication difficulties and misunderstandings. Dawn, since she thought of Angela and her family as being part of her own family, was horribly disappointed when she felt like they weren’t there for her when she needed them. Angela was stuck in a relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend and was unaware of Dawn’s needs. So, the uncommunicated difficulties in both of their lives resulted in a broken friendship and a disconnection with the person they needed the most to be there for them in their struggles.
Eight years is a long time, but God is longsuffering with us; as our example, we should practice longsuffering with our brothers and sisters in Christ. When Angela’s grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer, she decided it was time to reach out. Angela contacted a mutual friend and asked her to tell Dawn about her grandma.
Dawn was cautious; she didn’t want to give Angela false hope of reconciliation. Dawn was really walking through some stuff. She had some traumatic things going on, and she was fearful about bringing evil into Angela’s world.
But they found “a common ground in the Lord” when they spoke. Angela and Dawn found honesty and mutual understanding about the status of their relationship as a starting point. Angela was cautious about advancing their friendship and asked if she could check in occasionally so she wouldn’t smother Dawn. They met again. They found accountability in one another over time, encouraging each other to read their Bible. Now they are both in places of personal and spiritual growth that they can share with one another.
Their advice? Take it one day at a time. Don’t give up. Pray. Have patience.
The part of the story that I love follows almost exactly the steps laid out in the conflict conference for peacemaking.
1. Glorify God.
Both Dawn and Angela came to know Jesus as their Savior.
2. Get the log out of your eye.
Both ladies were honest about their situation with one another, and they came to a place of understanding.
3. Gently restore.
Angela patiently waited until Dawn was ready, and they took it slowly and gently.
4. Go and be reconciled.
Finally, they have now been reconciled, and they meet frequently.
As Dawn pointed out to me, isn’t this the way Jesus treats us? We are unworthy of a relationship with Him, but He draws us back to Himself anyway. We chose to cut off the relationship with Him, but He prays for us as our Mediator, and He desires to have a relationship with us. In His patience and longsuffering with us, in time, we come to repentance and are reconciled to Himself.
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