Testimony

I learned that Jesus died on the cross for my sins when I was a child, and I accepted Him into my heart as my Lord and Savior when I was young. I was also fortunate enough to have parents who believed in God too, and they took me to church every Sunday and made sure that I was able to participate in any church activities that I wanted to. My entire childhood and early teen years, I truly followed God until my desire to be accepted by my friends and fit in got the best of me. I started to compromise what I knew to be right and wrong and created my own gray area where I wasn’t as bad as my friends. I still stood out as a “good” Christian, but I wasn’t living the way I should. For instance, smoking, sneaking out, driving illegally, and dating guys that I knew I shouldn’t. I wanted to be strong and make the right choices, but I wasn't willing to give up my friends and have them think I was crazy for being a “goodie goodie.”

I struggled with this into my early 20's, and after I turned 21 and had even more freedom (though I was married), I loved to go clubbing and drinking and just continued to grow farther away from God. I ignored it, but I really just felt empty, and nothing was filling that gap in my life, even though I tried with unreasonable shopping sprees, getting myself into a lot of debt, and partying a few nights a week. I never stopped going to church, and I continually prayed that God would fix everything for me, like he was going to magically stop me from making all the wrong decisions. I would even pray to Him while I was going somewhere I shouldn't, like He was going to turn the car around for me.

Finally, after years of playing this game, God just let it all fall apart and allowed me to see that it didn't really fill any of my needs or desires; it just caused my life to be a disaster, even to the point of almost costing me my marriage. That is when I surrendered….I had no one else to lean on but God. I gave up all my good-time friends, which was pretty much everyone I knew, and my marriage was in bad shape, but God was still there, and day by day He picked me up and showed me the path that He had in store for me that I had just ignored for so long.

God was all I needed all those years that I searched, thinking I knew what was best for me. And as I recommitted my life to Him, he gave me such peace and contentment. The Lord showed me that He is all that I need and that He is the only one who can make me complete.